Things that are happening

I started my masters! I have an essay due on Monday, so, I should have finished it by now and be in bed fast asleep, but I have not. Have not started writing. And just read through the wiki page for The Shining. And then I read ayatul Qursi to make myself less scared.

Asked T to unscare me over whatsapp and this was her response:
Rainbows lollipops
Sunshine
Man with knife bursting through the doorway
Teddy bear
Hugs and pillows

WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT.

Time to get back to essay.

Z

I wish I could protect her from the world. The dark, smelly, hurtful world that would teach her that she needs to scratch her way to the top. I wish I could let her know that there is no competition for the love of people who mattered - and those who you need to earn the love of but never seem to be able to - they don't matter. I wish I could tell her that she was never inside me, but she was always my first love. She stole a bit of my heart even before she was born, and had been stealing a little more of it every now and then. Now that I am so far away from her - I feel the tug at my heartstring, every now and then, a sharp tug that almost brings tears. She is only a tiny bit over three now, and, I feel like she is already feeling the sharpness of the jagged ends of the world. 

Random thought

Today is one of those days - everything is going right, no one is home and I am alone with my thoughts. Days like this makes you realise that this world is an illusion in its entirety. People that you love fade, things that you have break and words that you say are forgotten. Everyone and everything moves on, and some day, this world will move on without you too. In the grand scheme of things, whether you found the perfect job, or finished a degree, or married the right guy, doesn't matter.

It all comes back to purpose. If things, people and actions serve their purpose, then they weren't a waste.

Nostalgia
Penguins and vampires
India, train, chocolate and poetry
Breakfast at Tiffany's
Alter ego
Primary school
Rain
Friday night rebellion
gchat
Rampura roof
Tea stall at midnight
Failing uni
Art
Crashing into a tree
Dents
Regrets
Circular quay

Bits and pieces of memory pop up and take you by a wave of emotion.