I am really enjoying this journey, most of the time. I feel like I am hiding a secret inside me, a secret that is almost unknown to me too. I feel like I share a special connection to something that I don't know or understand yet. It feels incredibly honouring, nothing like anything I have ever felt before. At the same time, this mystery - an unknown future - is incredibly terrifying. I hear that your children are your best teachers. They are a reflection of who you are, there's no saying how they will become, but you keep trying and trying and trying and there's no right way to do it, but there's lots of wrong ways, but you cannot give up. That is unlike anything I am every experienced. Unlike any other tests that I have had. To be fair, I have not been tested massively so far. I am looking forward to it. Looking forward to this journey that will potentially, hopefully with change me, us, for the better and lunge us into Jannah.
Monday, March 06, 2017
Wednesday, March 01, 2017
Reminder
This world is meant to be a test - short lived and at times, ugly. Sometimes we do things that surprise us, or maybe it doesn't, but makes us hate ourselves. Sometimes we fall so deep that we look up at the mouth of the hole in despair, wondering how we will ever make it up again. Yasmin Mogahed wrote something a very long time ago that I still remember from time to time - something along the lines of - when you sink to the bottom of the ocean, that's when its time to collect some pearls.
I thought I will be strong for M. Everyday that I get up and do my work, work on my assignments, clean up, learn Arabic, exercise and eat healthy, I am reminded that if I can set an example for M, if I do this for M, it'll all be worth it. But I think I have been getting it wrong. I am falling into the trap that so many other people fall into. About three years ago, I asked a middle aged man why his wife is slaving away for something that is not necessary to provide for their grown children, and he replied - everything we do is for our children, isn't it? At that time, I knew he was wrong. My parents have never made us feel that everything they do is for us. They have a separate life to us. Everything they do, they do for Allah. And that's how it should be. We blame ourselves when we fall short when we don't put our eggs in the right basket, when we have hope for the wrong things.
No matter how many times you fall, He promises He will pick you up again, if you have the right attitude.
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say: “A person committed a sin and said: ‘My Lord, I have sinned; forgive me.’ His Lord said: ‘Is My slave acknowledging that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for them? I have forgiven My slave.’ Then as much time passed as Allah willed, then he committed a sin and said, ‘My Lord, I have sinned; forgive me.’ His Lord said: ‘Is My slave acknowledging that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for them? I have forgiven My slave.’ Then as much time passed as Allah willed, then he committed a sin and said, ‘My Lord, I have sinned; forgive me.’ His Lord said: ‘Is My slave acknowledging that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for them? I have forgiven My slave,’ – three times…” [al-Bukhari, Muslim].
And He will provide, He will provide.
‘Ask forgiveness from your Lord, verily, He is Oft Forgiving; He will send rain to you in abundance. And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers.” [Nuh 71:10-12]
“If anyone constantly seeks pardon (from Allah), Allah will appoint for him a way out of every distress and a relief from every anxiety, and will provide sustenance for him from where he expects not.” [Abu Dawud].
I thought I will be strong for M. Everyday that I get up and do my work, work on my assignments, clean up, learn Arabic, exercise and eat healthy, I am reminded that if I can set an example for M, if I do this for M, it'll all be worth it. But I think I have been getting it wrong. I am falling into the trap that so many other people fall into. About three years ago, I asked a middle aged man why his wife is slaving away for something that is not necessary to provide for their grown children, and he replied - everything we do is for our children, isn't it? At that time, I knew he was wrong. My parents have never made us feel that everything they do is for us. They have a separate life to us. Everything they do, they do for Allah. And that's how it should be. We blame ourselves when we fall short when we don't put our eggs in the right basket, when we have hope for the wrong things.
No matter how many times you fall, He promises He will pick you up again, if you have the right attitude.
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say: “A person committed a sin and said: ‘My Lord, I have sinned; forgive me.’ His Lord said: ‘Is My slave acknowledging that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for them? I have forgiven My slave.’ Then as much time passed as Allah willed, then he committed a sin and said, ‘My Lord, I have sinned; forgive me.’ His Lord said: ‘Is My slave acknowledging that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for them? I have forgiven My slave.’ Then as much time passed as Allah willed, then he committed a sin and said, ‘My Lord, I have sinned; forgive me.’ His Lord said: ‘Is My slave acknowledging that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for them? I have forgiven My slave,’ – three times…” [al-Bukhari, Muslim].
And He will provide, He will provide.
‘Ask forgiveness from your Lord, verily, He is Oft Forgiving; He will send rain to you in abundance. And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers.” [Nuh 71:10-12]
“If anyone constantly seeks pardon (from Allah), Allah will appoint for him a way out of every distress and a relief from every anxiety, and will provide sustenance for him from where he expects not.” [Abu Dawud].
Him (written on 20th April 2016)
'You're pretty.' He said.
He didn't see the freckles
or the falling hair.
He didn't see her creases
that she hated so much.
Instead,
he traced her broken skin,
healed her broken heart,
'You're pretty', he said.
He traced the creases on her skin.
Tucked hair behind her ear.
He is a cliche.
He takes care of me,
even though I'm twenty five.
He forgets dates
(But then, so do I).
He makes me laugh,
takes my hand,
and
shows me the world
He doesn't pretend to be it.
He is a cliche,
But I wouldn't have it
any other way.
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