There is something so relaxing about sitting at a cafe with soft sunlight streaming through leaves and onto me. It reminds me of the past, how things used to be years ago, my regular visits to cafes to calm down and gather myself. The girls are taken care of, no body is waiting for me. I can breathe as slow as I want. I ordered an entire dish for myself - two eggs on mushrooms on a sourdough, with some kind of a sauce on the side - it was absolutely delicious. Now I am going to plan for the next term while sipping on my coffee.
Names of Allah I have been reflecting upon:
Al-Haleem - someone who allows us to make mistakes and then return to Him in our own time.
Al-Lateef - someone who works in His own, subtle ways, so that every single thing is meaningful, even though at a certain moment someone may not make sense.
Al-Muizz - The One who makes it possible for someone to be honoured, respected. He is also Mudhil - The One that dishonours. It reminds me that all respect, honour, izza - comes from Allah.
There's a fair few things that are on my plate at the moment. A close family member is getting married, I started a new job that I absolutely love, my girls are growing up. I need to remind myself to hold those names to my heart and remember them, always. I need to purify my intentions so that everything I do is for Allah.
Sometimes I wait for that last breath to wake me up. And then life gets good (like now) and I don't want to leave it. I need to remember to keep the dunya in my hand, no matter what anyone else does.
