Tuesday, April 28, 2015

The good things in life

I'm quite liking my life right now. On Mondays, I teach scripture at a local primary school, tutor and mentor a high school kid and have fiqh classes at night. On Tuesdays, I come to uni for the whole day for two hours of class and a few more hours of working on assignments and extra questions, sometimes catching up with my sister for lunch or so. On Wednesdays, its scripture again at a different primary school. One or two nights a week, I stay with my parents. Every second Friday, I teach 3-4 young kids about Islam while their parents attend their own night lessons. Sundays are busy with teaching and learning as well. I'm tired most nights and cherish the little bit of time that I have to curl up with a book and some chocolate. I cherish my family so much more now that I am away from them, and I try to make sure that I give them quality time when I am over there. I can feel Allah's blessings on me right now, and hope that I can be grateful for it. I remember, for about 8 months or so last year, I did nothing productive regularly and I kept feeling like the least useful person around. It made me realise that it is a blessing to be useful to someone and to be busy doing meaningful things. And that is only possible if one is given the opportunity to, so its something that we should be grateful for.

What I love more, is that Mr H is being quite productive with his life too. We enjoy learning together, and teaching together, now. He encourages me to be better to my family and I hope I do the same. I was supposed to go to Baba's work for something, yesterday. Mr H suggested that I have a coffee with him before my errands, he said that Baba would love it. I felt a bit weird doing it at first, because Baba and I have very similar personalities - slightly awkward around most people, even family, and both of us like our own space and company. Both of us are quite good at teaching, or doing anything that requires talking 'at' a group of people, but we can get quite awkward when its 1-1 interaction in something like a coffee setting, no matter who it is. But, I know that Baba is more awkward than I am, which is why its easier for me to talk to him (lol). Anyway so, I didn't end up going early enough for a coffee, even though I really wanted to, so I made a mental note to do so the next time I need to go into his work.

This morning, I walked straight to the food court after reaching uni, desperately needing a coffee to stay awake - and I see Baba sitting at the food court! My dad - with all his white hair and glasses and that smile - was drinking tea and eating hot chips at the last place I thought I'd see him. He came for an excursion with his students (which he forgot to tell me - another trait I share with him). So, I got to have that coffee date with my father that I wanted to have the day before. And I talked away like I used to when he used to pick me up from school - I talked about my uni work, the burnt chicken and spilt tea from the day before and everything in between. The awesome thing is, I wouldn't do this if Mr H did not suggest it in the first place. 

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

The mundanes

This morning I woke up, prayed, lazed around a little bit, dreamt about a zombie apocalypse, forgot to iron Mr H's shirt, showered, cleaned room (which took so-o-o long!), stuffed a lot of things in my bag, got dropped off by Mr H's mum to the station, changed some plans, caught the train, met a girl I haven't seen for ages on the train, got a $35 coupon for some health store for free at the station, played 2048 on the bus, got a coffee and came to the library.   

I just took a sip from my small cappuccino with one sugar, bought from the library lawn coffee cart. And nostalgia rushed over me - that feeling of walking in with a coffee cup to study physiology, or that group study for multiple choice final exam for first year psych, the heart racing times from neuroscience and the calming feeling of sorting through thoughts at the library. I love how we associate particular bits of senses with particular memories. The feeling that comes with this paper cup filled with cappuccino is quite comforting.

The other interesting thing I've noticed about this is that the memories that I have before marriage are associated with very different things from memories post-marriage. So, all my crushes meld into one, while Mr H is always different. All my insecurities are on one side and the feeling of security is on the other. Comfort of loneliness is separate from the comfort of being one half of a whole.

Something happened today which made me appreciate the saying that Allah's plans are better than ours. I planned out this whole week early last week, and I thought everything will go according to plan, keeping everyone happy, balancing well, and basically - living the nice, balanced life that I dream of having. But it was a good reminder to myself that nothing will ever go according to our plans if Allah does not will it. Its a good slap in the face for the ego, which seems to think it knows best.

"And never say of anything, 'Indeed, I will do that tomorrow,' except [when adding], “If Allah wills.” And remember your Lord when you forget [it] and say, “Perhaps my Lord will guide me to what is nearer than this to right conduct.” (Quran: Chapter 18, verse 23-24). 

Friday, April 10, 2015

Things I didn't appreciate about my parents while growing up

But should have.

1. They made us think we were poor and we have to answer for every dollar we spent and every resource we use. The concept of not wasting resources is now etched in our minds.

2. They consistently did some things every single day, like praying properly, reading Quran everyday.

3. Our family time was not TV time - it was when we sat together talking about God and our issues with life, once a week.

4. We always had to have dinner together, no matter who was busy doing what. And you could not go to bed without dinner.