Wednesday, December 05, 2012

(Sort of an) update

I haven't written here for a very long time. Since I last wrote, my exams have finished. Since I last "properly" updated, I quit ABA therapy, one of my friends had a kid, little Z rolled over for the first time, I realised that gym is actually helpful, I began to think about the world and realised how untrustworthy the system is. There must've been a whole lot of other things that has happened, but they happened so fast that I haven't had the chance to sit down and contemplate. I'm beginning to think I quite like this state - the state of "doing" rather than "thinking". I mean, sometimes, "thinking" is "doing", in which case, I would like to "think" as well, but most of this blog is about "thinking" about the second sort of "thinking", which isn't really helpful.

I seemed to have started several posts over the past month. These were in my draft:

12/11 - Nuisances

- Constantly feeling like I must be politically correct.
- Being old and directionless.
- Procrastination.

17/11 - (untitled)

I am beginning to realise the world is more complicated than it seems.

23/11 - My understanding of reality

(no content)

26/11 - (untitled)

You were walking on a path with flowers on a sunny day
everything was okay

26/11 - (untitled)

Its a funny thing, to be human.

1/12 - (untitled)

I had a very interesting year this year, possibly the most interesting year of my life. I faced tests that I have not faced before, learnt new things and (apparently) changed as a person. I have a feeling this is how its going to be for a very long time. Once you learn to accept

- being aware of the world
- different personalities
- all creation of God - test/blessing
- every moment is a test
- life is so short + unpredictable
- outcome of a situation is not up to us, the preparation + the reaction is.
- ^leads to a whole range of emotions -- don't push it down. deal with it.
- believer - a mirror for another believer
- when someone has an opinion about you - evaluate it. take it on board if its valid (be truthful with yourself. cut down on the ego). if you don't think it is, tell them why etc etc. best - consensus.
- priorities


So yes, it seems like I had a lot to say, but I must've felt overwhelmed every time I began writing, so I stopped. In fact, this is beginning to overwhelm me again (and I remembered how many chores I have left). So I shall stop.

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