Monday, March 11, 2013

What's been happenin' in there

I've been wanting to write for a while, but haven't found the time or the words. I suppose, I haven't found the inspiration either. Why did I write here all that time? I began writing with a few others, then I moved on to writing for one of or two people. Then, I've just been writing for myself. I mentioned that there isn't much I have to hide, hence, all can be out in the open in this space, just in case I turn out to be some kinda psycho and I can't see it myself but someone else can. But, in the past year or so, I am not sure whether I have fulfilled that purpose either. I have a lot of thoughts in my head, but they take too long to process and write, all in one place. So, I have been writing here and there. Some were in personal diaries, some to friends. And, alhamdulillah, I think I've figured a lot of it out. I think I have changed a lot too, in this past year. Another reason that I wrote here is so that I would be able to know myself when I go back and read. I don't think that's so true any more. I can't read what I wrote two years ago and figure out the present. But that's okay, because the present is mostly figured out nowadays, and that's all that matters regarding myself.

I have a huge day planner for the year. I try to write a list of things to do every day, and make a rough schedule of how my day will go. It's working, more or less. I think I have trouble keeping balance between how much time I spend in my head, and how much time I spend "doing" things. I definitely prefer one over the other, but at different times. I am not entirely sure if its possible to do so at any one time. But its definitely better than being overwhelmed with the thousand things in my head.

"Careful now, with my head.
I said, careful now, what you do with my head.
Make your mind up,
Make your little mind up.
To each is his own,
each is her own."

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