Tuesday, April 14, 2015

The mundanes

This morning I woke up, prayed, lazed around a little bit, dreamt about a zombie apocalypse, forgot to iron Mr H's shirt, showered, cleaned room (which took so-o-o long!), stuffed a lot of things in my bag, got dropped off by Mr H's mum to the station, changed some plans, caught the train, met a girl I haven't seen for ages on the train, got a $35 coupon for some health store for free at the station, played 2048 on the bus, got a coffee and came to the library.   

I just took a sip from my small cappuccino with one sugar, bought from the library lawn coffee cart. And nostalgia rushed over me - that feeling of walking in with a coffee cup to study physiology, or that group study for multiple choice final exam for first year psych, the heart racing times from neuroscience and the calming feeling of sorting through thoughts at the library. I love how we associate particular bits of senses with particular memories. The feeling that comes with this paper cup filled with cappuccino is quite comforting.

The other interesting thing I've noticed about this is that the memories that I have before marriage are associated with very different things from memories post-marriage. So, all my crushes meld into one, while Mr H is always different. All my insecurities are on one side and the feeling of security is on the other. Comfort of loneliness is separate from the comfort of being one half of a whole.

Something happened today which made me appreciate the saying that Allah's plans are better than ours. I planned out this whole week early last week, and I thought everything will go according to plan, keeping everyone happy, balancing well, and basically - living the nice, balanced life that I dream of having. But it was a good reminder to myself that nothing will ever go according to our plans if Allah does not will it. Its a good slap in the face for the ego, which seems to think it knows best.

"And never say of anything, 'Indeed, I will do that tomorrow,' except [when adding], “If Allah wills.” And remember your Lord when you forget [it] and say, “Perhaps my Lord will guide me to what is nearer than this to right conduct.” (Quran: Chapter 18, verse 23-24). 

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