Saturday, May 26, 2012

The crashes are heaven for a sinner like me

When nothing is certain about the future, we try to make it ourselves. We settle for second best, because the best isn't here yet, and there is no guarantee that it will ever be. We only look at the options in front of us and pick the what seems to be the least negative of all, desperate to get out of the situation we are currently in. We don't believe others when they say we deserve better, and will receive better, only if we wait for it to come around. Alhamdulillah, I am not in that state right now, but I can see plenty of people around me that are. I wish there was some way I could make them see what I see. However, I also see what they see from where they are standing. From where they are standing, they cannot see ahead, thus, they believe that the road ahead does not exist, and they must pave it themselves.

At the end of the day, every single person is flawed. They would not be people if they were not. Therefore, one should never depend completely on someone else, nor should they make anyone dependent on themselves. There should not be one single person that fills your heart, because the moment they leave, you will feel empty without end. In fact, every single person that you let enter your heart becomes a danger to you. Because, even if they take up a very tiny space, they will still leave that bit vacant when they leave. However, it is natural for us to cling to something. Therefore, the best Being to cling to is God, because He is the only Being in your entire existence that will never leave your heart, unless you prevent yourself from letting Him enter or push Him away.

But when you have pushed Him away, it feels horribly humiliating to call Him back. So, you keep delaying the call. You keep losing yourself into everything that is not real, even though you know for sure its not the path you should take. And it becomes a constant cycle, a labyrinth you lose yourself in.

The world is annoying me with all its imperfection.

"And the arms of the ocean are carrying me,
And all this devotion was rushing out of me,
And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me,
The arms of the ocean deliver me." 

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