Mr H and I have been watching the show every now and then. There are four seasons so far and we probably watched about a few episodes from each season. The last episode I watched sent me into an anxiety attack. In my life, I have only had a few attacks of anxiety: the first practical assessment in chemistry in year 12, the final statistics exam in my third year of psychology, when I forgot how to cut some veggies in what sizes in the first year of marriage (my MIL has different rules for different curries, and I still can't remember them. Nearly four years on, I still ask her if my sizes are okay... lol.), about a month after M was born and we were supposed to have dinner for fifteen at our place and... last night.
Black Mirror is set sometime in the future, although no one is sure when, at a time when technology has a much greater influence in our lives. Each episode is stand alone, so there is no need to watch them in order, or to watch all of them at all. I just googled the names of the ones I watched and they are: Entire History of You (s1, e03), White Bear (s2, e02), Arkangel (s4, e02), Hang the DJ (s4, e04) and Black Museum (s4, e06). This is quite surprising, for some reason, I was sure I watched more than five episodes! Maybe this says something about the weight of each episode on my mind.
The one we watched yesterday was White Bear. Right from the beginning, I could feel myself tense up and finding it hard to breathe. It follows the journey of a woman called Victoria, who wakes up and can remember nothing of her life. Just that notion sent chills down me. There was no music as far as I remember, instead, her breathing and certain other sounds were amplified. You could tell that she was clearly distressed. This happens to me when I am feeling anxious or severely sad - I feel like certain sounds are much much louder than others. The story goes on and she goes through a journey of survival despite her confused state, and ends up feeling betrayed in the end. There's people that try to kill her and there are a bunch of other people who are seemingly filming the whole incident, without offering any sort of help. She can't make sense of any of it. All of it seems unexpected. She has flashbacks to certain memories, but she isn't clear about what they are. The whole notion was just so, so suffocating but at the same time, gripping. I just couldn't stop watching.
Turns out that its just all a big show. She can't remember anything because her memory has been zapped. Her boyfriend abducted a child and killed her while she filmed it, he got sentenced to prison where he killed himself. She was sent to this correction facility which is also an amusement park. The killers/chasers/helpers/anyone who interacts with her works at the park. The people who were filming are visitors. They pay to see her live in uncertainty and fear the entire day, and then be humiliated at the end of the day when she finds out what her real situation is. Every night, her memory is wiped off in a painful manner. She falls asleep after that, and then the next day she wakes up and the whole thing happens again. Every night, she wishes she just died instead, but she can't. She is pushed to the point of insanity and then her memories are wiped.
It shook me. First of all, the whole concept of judgement. Humans are not and will never be perfectly just. It was a park to serve her justice, however, it was unjust! She committed one crime and she was being punished for it over and over and over again, even though she may have repented and changed her ways. Secondly, it reminded me of the concept of Jahannam. Allah is the most just judge. When He punishes, the punishment will be suited for the person it is for. We are given so many chances in this world but as soon as we die, our chances are finished. Knowingly doing wrong and not repenting and changing our ways can have grave consequences. It is said that people in Jahannam will wish to die, will wish to come back in the world for another chance, but they will be punished severely and over and over again. The reality of the next world is not like the reality of this world. In this world we may be forgiven just by asking for forgiveness, and changing our ways. In the next world, that chance will be gone.
And then there was the issue of identity - she did not have any idea of who she was at the beginning. That is so suffocating! Imagine waking up one day and not recognising anything at all. Not knowing who you are. My dadu most likely had Alzheimer's, although she wasn't diagnosed due to time and place. Even at ninety years of age, she thought her kids were little, she was telling my father not to play outside because he would hurt himself. My chacha has now gone a little crazy. This time that we went to see him, he forgot everything. He just remembers his name and his father's name, and he kept repeating that over and over again. This was such a stark contrast to how he was the time before this, three years ago - he just sat quietly and said nothing, did nothing. I am scared of losing my memories when I am older. Of not knowing who I am and feeling disoriented day in and day out.
Anyway, so those were my fears, I guess. I just need to remind myself that Allah is Merciful as well. Allah has more mercy and love than anyone and anything we know.
In Saheeh Muslim it is narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah has one hundred parts of mercy, of which He sent down one between the jinn, mankind, the animals and the insects, by means of which they are compassionate and merciful to one another, and by means of which wild animals are kind to their offspring. And Allah has kept back ninety-nine parts of mercy with which to be merciful to His slaves of the Day of Resurrection.” (Muslim, al-Tawbah, 6908)
It was narrated that ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “Some prisoners were brought to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and there was a woman among the prisoners who was searching (for her child). When she found her child she embraced him and put him to her breast. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to us, ‘Do you think that this woman would throw her child in the fire?’ We said, ‘No, by Allah, not if she is able not to.’ The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, ‘Allah is more merciful to His slaves than this woman is to her child.’” (Agreed upon)
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “No one’s deeds will ever admit him to Paradise.” They said, “Not even you, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “No, not even me, unless Allah showers me with His Mercy. So try to be near to perfection. And no one should wish for death; he is either doing good so he will do more of that, or he is doing wrong so he may repent.” [al-Bukhari, Muslim]
Black Mirror is set sometime in the future, although no one is sure when, at a time when technology has a much greater influence in our lives. Each episode is stand alone, so there is no need to watch them in order, or to watch all of them at all. I just googled the names of the ones I watched and they are: Entire History of You (s1, e03), White Bear (s2, e02), Arkangel (s4, e02), Hang the DJ (s4, e04) and Black Museum (s4, e06). This is quite surprising, for some reason, I was sure I watched more than five episodes! Maybe this says something about the weight of each episode on my mind.
The one we watched yesterday was White Bear. Right from the beginning, I could feel myself tense up and finding it hard to breathe. It follows the journey of a woman called Victoria, who wakes up and can remember nothing of her life. Just that notion sent chills down me. There was no music as far as I remember, instead, her breathing and certain other sounds were amplified. You could tell that she was clearly distressed. This happens to me when I am feeling anxious or severely sad - I feel like certain sounds are much much louder than others. The story goes on and she goes through a journey of survival despite her confused state, and ends up feeling betrayed in the end. There's people that try to kill her and there are a bunch of other people who are seemingly filming the whole incident, without offering any sort of help. She can't make sense of any of it. All of it seems unexpected. She has flashbacks to certain memories, but she isn't clear about what they are. The whole notion was just so, so suffocating but at the same time, gripping. I just couldn't stop watching.
Turns out that its just all a big show. She can't remember anything because her memory has been zapped. Her boyfriend abducted a child and killed her while she filmed it, he got sentenced to prison where he killed himself. She was sent to this correction facility which is also an amusement park. The killers/chasers/helpers/anyone who interacts with her works at the park. The people who were filming are visitors. They pay to see her live in uncertainty and fear the entire day, and then be humiliated at the end of the day when she finds out what her real situation is. Every night, her memory is wiped off in a painful manner. She falls asleep after that, and then the next day she wakes up and the whole thing happens again. Every night, she wishes she just died instead, but she can't. She is pushed to the point of insanity and then her memories are wiped.
It shook me. First of all, the whole concept of judgement. Humans are not and will never be perfectly just. It was a park to serve her justice, however, it was unjust! She committed one crime and she was being punished for it over and over and over again, even though she may have repented and changed her ways. Secondly, it reminded me of the concept of Jahannam. Allah is the most just judge. When He punishes, the punishment will be suited for the person it is for. We are given so many chances in this world but as soon as we die, our chances are finished. Knowingly doing wrong and not repenting and changing our ways can have grave consequences. It is said that people in Jahannam will wish to die, will wish to come back in the world for another chance, but they will be punished severely and over and over again. The reality of the next world is not like the reality of this world. In this world we may be forgiven just by asking for forgiveness, and changing our ways. In the next world, that chance will be gone.
And then there was the issue of identity - she did not have any idea of who she was at the beginning. That is so suffocating! Imagine waking up one day and not recognising anything at all. Not knowing who you are. My dadu most likely had Alzheimer's, although she wasn't diagnosed due to time and place. Even at ninety years of age, she thought her kids were little, she was telling my father not to play outside because he would hurt himself. My chacha has now gone a little crazy. This time that we went to see him, he forgot everything. He just remembers his name and his father's name, and he kept repeating that over and over again. This was such a stark contrast to how he was the time before this, three years ago - he just sat quietly and said nothing, did nothing. I am scared of losing my memories when I am older. Of not knowing who I am and feeling disoriented day in and day out.
Anyway, so those were my fears, I guess. I just need to remind myself that Allah is Merciful as well. Allah has more mercy and love than anyone and anything we know.
In Saheeh Muslim it is narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah has one hundred parts of mercy, of which He sent down one between the jinn, mankind, the animals and the insects, by means of which they are compassionate and merciful to one another, and by means of which wild animals are kind to their offspring. And Allah has kept back ninety-nine parts of mercy with which to be merciful to His slaves of the Day of Resurrection.” (Muslim, al-Tawbah, 6908)
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “No one’s deeds will ever admit him to Paradise.” They said, “Not even you, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “No, not even me, unless Allah showers me with His Mercy. So try to be near to perfection. And no one should wish for death; he is either doing good so he will do more of that, or he is doing wrong so he may repent.” [al-Bukhari, Muslim]
