How a Muslim sees the world

I need to come up with a research idea for one of my subjects. Initially, I felt quite daunted. Even though science fascinates me, even though I'd like to think that I do well in this area, I know that I'm not a scientist at heart. I cannot begin a research, continue with it, cope with rejection after rejection yet spend my entire life trying to find the answer to one (small) question. I have great respect for those who do, though. So, after I've swallowed my fear and started my research, I began to enjoy it. I'm researching into schizophrenia - a disorder with many factors influencing it. It is not merely genetic, environmental, or that the brain isn't wired correctly -- it is a mixture of ALL of those. We still don't know exactly what causes it, but there are lots of hypotheses, possibly that lots of different chemical pathways interact with each other and are dysfunctional. So, currently, I'm researching into the chemical pathways that potentially are going wrong. Which makes one think, when so many things could have potentially gone wrong, a person without schizophrenia (or other mental disorders) is very, very lucky. Because, all of those pathways are working correctly, all of the factors are matching up, everything just happened to have fell into their places. 

I know a few people who have schizophrenia in their families. When something is personal to you, it changes the entire notion. I am looking at this disorder from a scientific point of view. To me, its a bunch of chemicals and numbers. To them, its living with the symptoms every single day, not knowing when things will change for the better or worse. Some tiny changes in the brains of a few people (approx 1% of the world population) can elicit so many things from so many people - sadness, anxiety, fear as well as hope. We hope that its something we can eventually understand, as we have done with so many disorders in the past. But in the mean time, things will remain as it is. For people who have someone close to them suffering from schizophrenia, its very normal for them to want to shut it out. Whenever we have something difficult in our lives, the first response is the wish for it to go away, and when you know that it won't go away, you want to get away from it. 

But the important thing to remember is that we will always have difficulties in our lives. Regarding our life is this world, Islam says:

• It's a test.

• And surely We shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops... (2:155)

• He Who created Death and Life, that He may try which of you is best in deed... (67:2)

•  and most certainly We shall try you all... (47:31)

• Everything in this world is set up in accordance to the idea of a test, thus, everything is somewhat of an illusion.

• Every soul will taste death, and you will only be given your [full] compensation on the Day of Resurrection. So he who is drawn away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise has attained [his desire]. And what is the life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion. (3:185)

• And the worldly life is not but amusement and diversion; but the home of the Hereafter is best for those who are conscious of God , so will you not reason?

• And this worldly life is not but diversion and amusement. And indeed, the home of the Hereafter - that is the [eternal] life, if only they knew. (29:64)

• [This] worldly life is only amusement and diversion. (47:36)

• But little is the enjoyment of the life of this world as compared to the hereafter.” (9:38)

• This world is temporary.

• On the authority of Ibn Umar, may Allah be pleased with both of them, who said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) took hold of my shoulder and said, ‘Be in the world as if you were a stranger or a traveller along the path.” And ibn Umar would say, “If you survive till late afternoon, do not expect [to be alive in] the morning. If you survive till morning, do not expect [to be alive in] the late afternoon. Take from your health before your sickness and your life before you death.”(Recorded in al-Bukhari)

• We need to make the best of this world, in making it a better place, even if our own lives are temporary. We cannot be selfish people who spend their lives behind closed doors and pray, because they are too much of a coward to face the challenges of the world. This is part of the test.

• Anas ibn Malik (may Allāh be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “If the Final Hour comes while you have a palm-cutting in your hands and it is possible to plant it before the Hour comes, you should plant it.” [Al-Abani]

• Abu Hurairah narrated that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said,"When a man dies, his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge, and righteous offspring who will pray for him." (Muslim)

• Abu Hurairah narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "The good deeds that will reach a believer after his death are: knowledge which he learned and then spread; a righteous son whom he leaves behind; a copy of the Qur'an that he leaves as a legacy; a mosque that he built; a house that he built for wayfarers; a canal that he dug; or charity that he gave during his lifetime when he was in good health. These deeds will reach him after his death." (Ibn Majah — authenticated by Al-Albani)

• We need to do our part in solving a problem we face.
• Anas reported that a person asked the messenger of Allah, “Should I tie my camel and have Tawakkul (trust in Allah for her protection) or should I leave her untied and have Tawakkul?” the messenger of Allah, “Tie her and have Tawakkul.” (Hasan) [Jami At-Tirmidhi]

And the most important thing that I like reminding myself of is:

With difficulty comes ease. (94:5)

Since this life isn't always fair, the ease may or may not come in this life. But, in keeping our world view in mind, we know that, no matter what, will will definitely get ease. Soon.

So, every time we face something difficult, there's 2 things we need to do:

- Return to the Being who is in control of everything in the world and ask Him to guide us to the correct decision, make things easy for us.

- Take productive steps towards solving the problem. If one thing doesn't work, we try another. Then another, then another. Until it works.

Here's an article from ProductiveMuslim that I found while trying to find verses - I loved the tips given here!

http://productivemuslim.com/7-things-to-do-in-times-of-hardship/

Kindness

The power of words frequently amazes me - the way they can slice you to pieces and also sew up a wound. One of my friends once described communication as something that changes you, because it causes a change in the chemicals in your brain, so, after talking with someone, you become a slightly different person to who you were before the conversation. To be able to effectively communicate is half the battle in anything. If you can articulate your problems in words, then you will know what the problem exactly is, and then you can solve it. It amazes me because we use it so much, so many words, but most of us don't stop to think about the effect of the words we are using.

I recently heard an argument where one person accused another person of saying something, possibly years ago. The boy remembered what the girl said, because it really hurt him, but the girl forgot it entirely and denied it. In another interaction I was present in, one of the people said some things to the other person that didn't seem to be too much of a big deal to the person who said it, but to me, seemed to be poisonous and numbing. If someone said those words to me, I would probably feel crippled, become clinically depressed and then turn into a psychopath. This made me think about some of the bridges I burnt in the past with my words. I deliberately burnt some of them, and others were just burnt due to my stupidity. And, when I was reminded of some of the things I said during some of those times, it made me cringe. And I realised that no matter what I do, I can't take the words back. It doesn't matter if I'm nice to that person for the next ten years - it won't take away the poison from the words I've already used.

Sometimes I forget that kindness isn't just something that used to exist in the past. No matter what happens, we should still hold onto that side of us that make people smile and love.

The prophet said: “Nothing will be heavier on the Day of Resurrection in the Scale of the believer than good manners. Allah hates one who utters foul or coarse language.” (Tirmidhi)

Making sense of the nonsensical nature of life

I just found something I wrote about a year ago, when I was trying to reconcile my anger against injustices of the world, and trying to be okay inside. 

"You are wasting your time in unhappiness. Just be happy, find peace within yourself. There's a difference between being happy and getting everything you want. There is also a difference between feeling peace inside you in happiness, and feeling angry due to injustice to others. Peace comes when you let go of the injustices you feel against your own self in order to attain something greater. So, you don't need to get everything you want. You don't need to let go of fighting against injustice in the world. You just need to find that fine line called balance. "

I'm not sure whether I had that balance a year ago, or whether I was struggling to get it. I don't know whether I ever had that balance for more than a few days. And, I realised, at this point, I don't know how to gain and sustain it (did I ever know?). It must be possible, somehow, I just don't know how yet. 

I'm not sure if other people (who read this blog) feel this way, but recently, I have been unable to control how I feel. I start to feel sad in the middle of doing something absolutely ordinary, or angry at a person who does not deserve it at all. I am not the first person to feel like this, obviously. However, the problem is, I am not entirely sure about why this is happening. To fix any problem, the first thing we need to do is figure out the main reason behind it. But, I've thought of a few possibilities:

- My excessive caffeine intake (This was funny at one point, but I think the balanced tipped to the other side in the last few days, when I found myself consuming four cups of coffee for a few days).

- Babies, babies everywhere. I have a nephew now! So, I currently live with two tiny human beings. That must've done something to my emotional system, right?

- I keep coming across things that make me lose hope in the world. People losing faith, psychopaths going on killing sprees, our complicated political system which is trapping us into thinking that we're doing just fine living our life like zombies. 

- I've lost career directions again.

As someone who studies psychology, I know that any random person cannot diagnose someone else to have a psychological disorder. I also know that each of us can exhibit certain symptoms of certain disorders, but it does not mean that we have it/them. It just means that we have to target the specific symptom and come up with a plan to fix it up. If it doesn't go away with regulating sleep, food and a healthy amount of interactions with friends and family, that is when one should seek professional advice.

I had a really good conversation with SS a few days ago (don't we always? :P). We were talking about religion, politics, the future, how the world will be and how will be. It's amazing that we could sustain such a long and engaging conversation about such a topic when our faiths, the very basis of that conversation, are completely different. I think its because we were open to really listening to each others' opinions. And, it didn't matter whether we agreed with each other. None of us were trying to make the other person believe exactly what we believe. We just wanted the other person to see our point of view, and I think we achieved that (either that, or SS is really good at pretending that she sees it!). We were talking about how, possibly in our lifetime, Islam might rise as a power in the Middle East, and the pros and cons of that. The fact that a lot of average people on this side of the world fear that outcome because they don't understand the implications, and the political realities. We were also talking about how, getting too caught up in the politics of the world, we can lose our human sides of knowing each other as 'people'. But, that we also need the politics. That my basis for understanding the world is Islam, and part of the world is the relationship that we have with our ownselves, with God, with other people. Part of the relationship that we have with other people is the social structure. So, to me, it makes perfect sense that Islam has a political structure.

I wonder who actually still reads my scattered thoughts. Leave a comment if you've read this. :)

Addiction

Whenever I get addicted to something, the rest of my life falls apart. Sometimes it’s a particular friend, sometimes its one specific song, sometimes it’s a book. My latest addiction was a novel by Jodi Picoult - 'Nineteen Minutes'. The two people that I have talked to about this novel read it sometime between the ages of twelve and seventeen, which is slightly embarrassing. The deepest English novel I've read during that age was probably some drug addiction novel by John Marsden.

Now that I've finished this one, I don't particularly feel like reading another novel of hers any time soon. I think its because she explains her characters so well that to introduce myself with new characters in the same style of writing will be a struggle. My mind will feel like it’s a continuation of the previous book but will rationally know that it's a whole new story.

I've forgotten what I learnt about addiction in physiological psychology last year. But I think there needs to be one of two things done if one wants to get away from an addiction: have closure, or, get addicted to something else. I think most of us choose the second option - we want to drown out our sorrows with chocolate, or that song we used to listen to as a teenager. I choose this one too, but I know that the more effective ending is to have a closure. To know that there is nothing to be done to continue being addicted. Like, knowing that the novel ended.

When it comes to becoming un-addicted from people, closures are much harder to achieve. I suppose the way it can be done is talking things out with the person/people involved, not keeping anything in your heart that can pass off as something unsaid, something that you must carry around with you for a long time.

I think the reason why we get addicted to something is because we feel like we'll be directionless without it. Which is true for a while, but at the end of the day, no one/nothing else in this world can really set our directions except ourselves. And until we do, we just have to fake it till we make it.