Reminder

Currently, I am utterly in love with (or possibly just obsessed with) this song called Riptide. I found a great acapella and I cannot stop listening to it. It's a clean sound, with a soothing voice which does not go out of tune at all and lovely words. The song is open to interpretation, but the way I see it, it's about a boy who had low self esteem and was filled with fears, but falls head over heels in love with a girl and loses his fears. Then, the girl begins to lose herself and he knows things are going down in a hateful direction, but there's nothing he can do.

I heard somewhere, that when a person commits a sin, at that moment, that person stops being a believer. Because you cannot do something wrong while knowing that you are being watched and you will have to answer for it, while you do not have an answer. The beautiful thing is, Allah is Al-Ghafoor, Al-Afu', Ar;-Rahman, Al-Lateef, Ash-Shakoor, Al-Wadud and so much more. He forgives, loves, rewards and works in the most subtle ways.

Sometimes, all we want to do is forget that we have to die and keep doing whatever it is we are doing, because its just easier that way. It's easier to think about the bills we have to pay, or the people we have to please, or the grades we need to get and stay so busy while trying to keep things afloat that its easier to forget that we ever have to die. But one day, we will wake up without waking up and neither our money nor those people will wake up with us.

But Allah is As-Samad.

Train thoughts

When you feel extremely angry and all you want to do is throw your limbs around and break as many things as you can, then somebody really strong hugs you tight, holds you to their chest, wraps their arms around you so that you can no longer move - even though you still feel angry, you know that you are safe from harm, you know that you are protected and loved, and even though on the surface you may feel frustration at your temporary inability to move, deep inside, you secretly know that you are better off, .

This is how I feel about Allah every now and then. He is that best friend that loves and cares for me more than anyone else does, and He knows what is best for me. When I rebel against Him, I feel like a little kid rebelling against things that are futile, like, waking up from an afternoon nap and being angry because its not morning. He knows exactly every detail of myself, and the best way to live is to admit that I have no power except the power that He gives me. So, I don't really have to confine myself to how others define me. And I can't really be arrogant about all the things I can do, because that will be like that delusional child. I can dream about the future, live for today and pray like there's no tomorrow.

With a purpose - 1

So, as you know, a whole bunch of things happened in my life this year. Nothing as dramatic as deaths or marriages, but I have had a serious car accident and have seen the formation of a few couples. I have also been exposed to new ideas and controversies, which I shan't talk about clearly until I am clear myself. But as always, I shall talk about my thought process. The most important thing I learnt from this year is that it is extremely important to know the purpose of your existence. Once you know your purpose, everything else comes under its huge umbrella and it becomes much easier to sort what comes in and leaves your life. The purpose of your existence comes from the way you view the world.

The way I view the world comes from my understanding of the Quran. So, this world, to me, is a test. Each of us are here for a number of years, in which we are required to make several decisions. After death, we will be judged on the decisions we made. We will be judged by God, who is the most merciful, the most loving, but is also fair and is the sole owner of all power. Each of us are individuals and equals in His eyes. He will reward us or punish us according to the choices we make in this world. You can only make a choice about something you know about. So, we need to try our best to learn, then make decisions based on what we know. Following anything blindly does not do justice to our intellect. However, getting caught up with too many options may mean that there is no fruition of your knowledge. So, there needs to be a balance between gaining knowledge and implementing them.