Sunday, October 10, 2010

Hello word, hope you're listening

"Forgive me if I'm young,
Or speaking out of turn..."

Something in my mind, heard a few days ago in a show.

The psychologists among my readers (or my mother, or sister) might be alarmed at the following poetry. Therefore, I feel obliged to explain this creation.

1. Smruthi recently wrote a dark poem while listening to a dark song.
2. I have been listening to 'Give me a sign' by Breaking Benjamin (the acapella version is quite sad).
3. I have plenty of things to do.
4. I de-stress by letting my emotions run wild on insignificant topics. The following are a few examples:

http://lamzblog.blogspot.com/2010/09/fragmentary-blues.html - The poem at the beginning was written the night before a 20% exam. Alhamdulillah, I went better than expected in the exam.
http://lamzblog.blogspot.com/2010/09/in-search-of-dream.html - Written 2 days before another exams. Results were approximately what I expected.
http://lamzblog.blogspot.com/2010/06/waiting-for-rain.html - I remember writing this before an exam too. Can't remember which one.

There was another poem I remember writing, the day before my maths extension 2 hsc exam. It began with: 'The dark radiance of sin emanate from her hands'. 

As you can see, the darkness is not due to permanent scars in my mind, in need of extensive study. Just creative juices leaking out via bad poetry. 



Frustration of the Struggle


My soul was created,
Cherished in heaven
until it was requested for.


From light to darkness have I travelled,
From freedom to constriction;
Commanded to latch onto her body,
Let my body swim as it grew
Grow as it swam
Until the water could not bear me any more.
I descended from darkness into the light.


They forced me on this journey, without my consent.
I cried.
I screamed.
Unable to speak, I let the pitch of my voice let them know.
They forced me on this journey, without my consent.
Without my consent.


She smiled at me.
He smiled at me.
They took me in their arms,
smiling.


I wept.


Then, 
I grew as I learnt
Learnt as I grew.
The One replaced my tears with smiles
My eyes sparked with hope
My face glowed in anticipation
Pearly white teeth never to be put away
Little feet pattered down the hall


Soft, unstained, virgin soul remained
As if it had never descended from above.
At times I scratched at it.
Yet, it bounced back,
As if no nails can ever rip it apart.
A little white lie
A little secret from my mother
A little push in the playground
It didn't matter.


I grew, as I learnt, I learnt, as I grew.
I became a woman, remained a girl at heart.


A little white lie
A little secret from my mother
A little push in the playground
Still remained.
Started to scratch my soul.
They dug their nails
Hoping nothing have changed.
They forgot,
I became a woman.


The impossible occured,
Roughness evaded.


A little white lie
Became dark deception.
A little secret from my mother
Thwarted me.
A little push in the playground
Became hatred.


I crawled an inch forward
Ran ten steps back.
I climbed a plant leaf
Dropped from the canopy of a rainforest.


seven years have passed.
Yet, I am still hovering
Dropping
backwards
Every time I crawl an inch forward.


--


p.s: The title should be 'hello world, hope you're listening. But the typo sort of makes it a cool line!


p.p.s: Its 10.10.10! 

7 comments:

  1. I like it!
    jodio kiser theke influenced hoye likhechho seta bojha kothin.. but lekha valo hoyechhe.

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  2. apni to pura kobi!
    kobita amar mathay ase na. bujhi o na. sobai jokhon valo bolse, tokhon obviously valo hoise

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  3. just spent the last hour updating myself on ur blogposts lol

    i had to just say i love the photo, stripped trees bare behind a flyscreen. great concept

    keep up your photography, it's wonderful

    haha and your poetry too of course

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  4. sadness... it's the maths isn't it? =(

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  5. r: stop changing blog address woman! btw you're still in sydney right? there was someone from the US that visited my blog and went through my posts for about half an hour - around the time of this comment. are you still in sydney??

    dana dana: and physics. hate that part of my life right now. =(

    ReplyDelete