Wednesday, December 01, 2010

You want the sunrise to go back to bed

After mentioning it to Ak, I looked it up on Wikipedia (i.e.: the source of all knowledge). It is a term coined by Elliott Jaques in 1965. I've also learnt this:

Individuals experiencing it have some of these feelings:
- search of an undefined dream or goal
- a deep sense of remorse for goals not accomplished
- desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness
- need to spend more time alone or with certain peers


It could be caused by aging itself, or aging in combination with changes, problems, or regrets over:
- work or career (or lack thereof)
- spousal relationships (or lack thereof)
- maturation of children (or lack of children)
- aging or death of parents
- physical changes associated with aging

And after a quick skim through, I am officially concluding that I am undergoing midlife crisis. The undefined dream or goal is still undefined, as my last few posts make clear. The forced goals are not being accomplished either. As Ak and many others pointed out, my last few profile pictures of Facebook have been of my childhood years, which means that I do have a deep-set desire to feel younger. Lastly, my last post clearly screams out how pathetic my life is right now, since all I am doing is watch movies by myself (a few with friends, but yes, mostly in solitude). 

And from the next list, lets see - I do have a lack of:
- a career
- a spousal relationship
- children
My parents are ageing (gracefully, so this doesn't count). And of course, I am ageing too, not so gracefully. I.e.: I am getting older, yet, people still tell me I look fifteen-ish. When I dress up, I look seventeen. People! I'm nineteen!!

Or maybe its my deep-set desire to be older? Which doesn't make sense...

Anyway, lets return to sanity. I woke up this morning and smelled rain. It was raining outside, everywhere. The huge tree outside our house was drenched, the green leaves looked more luscious than ever. My blind was all the way up from the night before, so the only barrier between the rain and I was clear glass, and fly net, which does not really hinder the beauty. 

I'm going to a wedding this Friday! The hen's night and henna party was great. One of the games in the hen's night was a blindfold-makeup game. One person is blindfolded and supplied with a range of makeup, which she needs to put on the other person sitting in front of her. The rest of the girls would just stand around, yell out directions, and laugh. The bride-to-be did exceptionally well in applying makeup, blindfolded! The lipstick did not go past the lining of lips, which was a common occurrence amongst the others pairs. We concluded that she has been doing well in Anatomy. She's a doctor. Emu did mine. She drew me a perfect mustache and an Asian beard with the eyeliner. She also gave me perfect clown cheeks. Although it looked very beautiful, thank God it came off before the henna party.

The highlights of the henna party:
- Choosing background music
- Threading those red and white flowers in a hair-thin string (and the many complications that followed)
- Decorating the stage
- Wearing a sari by myself! My sister is usually the one who starts and finishes this perfectly with her expert hands. Although I tried remembering the tips she told me, I don't think they worked. I ended up hobbling everywhere in the highest heels I've worn in my life (scroll up to see the epic heels, which is probably not too epic according to other girls), while trying to smile. MM apu did my make up, and I (legally) stole two white flowers from the bride's bunch of flowers. 
- Playing around with S apu's SLR. It is a delicious feeling! I still love my own camera, but as some jerk once said, 'you can't deny beauty'.
- Other photos
- M apu's game. She made little cheesy snacks with cheesy advices for the bride, inside them.
- Other food.
- Feeding the bride. It feels like one of us is going. Yes, I had a much more abrupt, larger, deeper experience of such a thing nearly two years ago. But, it seemed like it cut open a fresh wound. (Midlife crisis, I tell you!)
- My handiwork of henna on the kids (as seen in the photo). 

Anyway - I have a thousand phone calls to make today. Smru - don't know when you will see this - but I cannot be bothered to travel to the other side of town in this rain. Love you all the same!

P.S: S&S are back from Hajj!


  1. Haha that's okay! Have fun for the rest of the week, seems you have your hands full with weddings and all that jazz. ;)

  2. hope you had fun! Also - leaving australia in six days!

  3. lol you're having a midlife crisis ay. i feel like that too, i want to accomplish all these goals i have set down but don't know how to begin, and at the end of the day, i just feel disappointed