I ran out of coffee beans. I can't remember when I finished them, but it must've been a while - about a week? I am suffering from withdrawal symptoms, and attempting to address them by inventing new things with tea bags. My best invention is probably this: Fill a cup with half water and half low fat milk and put it in the microwave for three minutes. About a minute later, add some cinnamon and a tea bag or two. Another minute later, add a bit of lemon/orange rind and some bits of dry ginger. Keep a watch so that the liquid doesn't boil over, but, comes to a 'boil'. Once you've paused and started the microwave a few times to stop it from boiling over but letting it come to a boil, take it out, squeeze the tea bag out, spoon out the cinnamon and add a spoon of honey. Let it cool for a minute or two, and you are ready to go! It's simple and easy, but it also has the right kind of heaviness, as well as the right kind of freshness.
In saying that, I must say I miss my coffees. But, in saying that, I do realise I have been pulled deeper into the traps of caffeine than anticipated. I know its just coffee, and I know I laugh about it. But it goes a little more than that. The fact that I'm so dependent on it to make me feel 'awake' is a little scary. It goes against rules of nature to be so dependent on anything in this world. My mum always tries to tell me this. About different things - over the years - because I am the type of person to get attached to people/things really easily. I think my mum is like me too, but she tries to negate that side of herself by thinking that she isn't attached. Which is pretty useful, and healthy, if you can do it properly. (And unfortunately, very unhealthy if you can't! Your mind would keep negating what your heart keeps telling you, and you will suffer from a major cognitive dissonance. :P)
I also realised I have been sounding a little preachy lately (or maybe.. for a while?). I apologise if I have annoyed you. Preachy people annoy the hell out of me (note the pun :P), because, they listen less, and talk more. Just because a person is religious, does not mean he/she has to be preachy, and just because someone is preachy, does not necessarily mean it must be about religion. Its just basically conversing with someone, without really engaging in the conversation. Generally, it is characterised by broad statements and revolve around a particular topic. I detest people who do not engage in conversations, who are thinking about something else while talking to you, because it shows that they are subconsciously thinking that you are not worthy of their full attention.
So, yes, I apologise. But, at the same time, I know why I may have been so. My mind often feels overwhelmed by the amount of thoughts it has, because of the exposure to different ideas. So, I would be thinking about one thing, but would move on to something else without letting the first thought fully develop. A fully developed thought comes with closure, and usually, some action points, while a half-developed thought is filled with emotions, because your mind hasn't resolved its bits and pieces. So, when there are several half developed thoughts, your mind becomes one messed up place and an emotional train wreck.
What I need to remember is this: Life is denied by a lack of attention, whether it be cleaning windows, or trying to write a masterpiece. I wrote it down from a book that Miffy recommended to me, but I am forgetting to live by it lately. I need to remember that I cannot save the world with the very limited resources I have, and it won't do if I just keep talking about it. You will be living in delusion if you think that merely talking about something is an action in itself, or that you, yourself, can save a huge problem that is affecting people around the globe. There is no use in trying to save others if you are not saved yourself. So, whatever is in your mind, put it down on paper (or the screen). Once all your issues are out of your head, sort them into action points. Then, get to it, whether it be cleaning windows, or writing a masterpiece. And remember to put all of yourself in it for the duration of time that you spend doing it.