Despair

According to Rimo, I now have 38 days till HSC.

According to the blue Ramadan calendar on my wall, I have 7-8 days of Ramadan.

According to the ways of the world, I might not have a second more to live.

I must get back to 2001 extension 2 maths past paper. But here is one of my favourite songs:

Smile in the two- way mirror of my eyes
I put on my faith like I wear a disguise
You can’t see my soul
See the life that I live
Show you the mask of the best I can give
I’ve hid here afraid like a child behind.
Truth of my thoughts that clutter my mind.
What if you knew about all that I do?
Things that I think,
The me that is true.

Would you call me a hypocrite?
Call me a liar?
Would you curse out my name?
Would you damn me to fire?
Would you know what to say?
Or would you just walk away?
Afraid the me I’ve tried to hide
Would you closely resemble the truth of you that lies inside?

I’ve been looking for answers since becoming an adult
Not looking for dogma to live like a cult
I’ve been looking to live,
I’ve been living to find
Freedom from cages that limit my mind.

Would you call me a hypocrite?
Call me a liar?
Would you curse out my name?
Would you damn me to fire?
Would you know what to say?
Or would you just walk away?
Afraid the me I’ve tried to hide
Would you closely resemble the truth of you that lies inside?

Will I scare you, upset you, frustrate you, irate you?
Challenge a lifestyle or weaken your trust
Or will you see my efforts and my passionate sincerity
Would you see just a little of yourself in me
Will you take off your mask so we can both be free.

Would you call me a hypocrite?
Call me a liar?
Would you curse out my name?
Would you damn me to fire?
Would you know what to say?
Or would you just walk away?
Afraid the me I’ve tried to hide
Would you closely resemble the truth of you that lies inside?