Sunday, November 21, 2010

Lying under things, poverty, dreams and lists

(Scroll down to the last paragraph if you cbb reading the whole post/ if you are in a hurry/ if you are not bored.)

I woke up for the second time with a single line from Rain in my head: to lie here under you, is all that I could ever do. With that, I lay, lifelessly comfortable, under my beloved. Its soft fur wrapped around me, keeping me safe from the morning breeze. My breathing became heavy from lack on oxygen. A smile spread across my face as I experienced true bliss - being wrapped in my blanket at nine in the morning. In fact, I would love to be under my blanket at any time of the day if I could. But, reality hits me sooner or later. And I realise I must leave.

But if I could, I promise I would lie there under you the whole day, blanket!

Right now, I have exactly $6.02 in my bank account. I am such a bad saver! Its amazing how I managed to turn out to be the exact opposite of my mother. I am disorganised, very bad with my time (I should be doing something useful now) and irresponsible with everything I have. Ma has always been a responsible person. She thinks ahead to about five years in the future before every action and decision - and it usually turns out to be the right one. She was like this when she was nine, nineteen, twenty-nine and so on. She is also very organised, a skilled manager of time and beautiful all at the same time. When I was little, I used to believe that she is the most beautiful woman in the world. I think I stopped believing that for a few years. But, right now, I truly do believe that again. You would think that such a beautiful mother would pass some of it on to her daughter. Sadly, I look nothing like her.

Anyway - back to $6.02. Basically, in the next five days, I need to have my phone bill money sitting in my bank account to be taken away without extra charges. I need to have enough money to go out with friends on Monday. I also need to save up for the looming, yet still-uncertain, Shundorbon trip. Wiki tells me I am supposed to spell Shundorbon as 'Sundarbans'. It also tells me that it is the largest single block of tidal halophytic mangrove forest in the world. For more wiki words, go here. I have seen it in photos and on TV - the beautiful flora attracts me, yes. But what I find more amazing is that I will potentially see a Royal Bengal Tiger, deers, foxes and other animals from up close, that I probably will never have the chance to see so closely again. Since the place is a huge tourist attraction, it also attracts huge amounts of $$. My (pretend) shopping list continues in the following manner:
- A laptop
- Driving lessons
- Driving test
- Ticket to climb the Harbour Bridge
- Ticket to go on a hot air balloon ride
- Ticket to go on a cruise to see whales

As you can see, I dream BIG.

Aniqa, if you ever read this - please know that I have a newfound love of bubbles. I now know how you felt when you blew them sitting in the grass in front of the library. Its a sheer feeling of joy. You feel like you are creating rainbows and mirrors in little spheres of soapy goodness. Yesterday afternoon, I blew half a bottle of cheap bubble mix in our backyard. I tried very hard to take photos while I blew them, or ask (ie: command) my brother to blow bubbles so I can take photos, but I failed to get any sort of result out of both. Nevertheless, I love bubbles a lot more than I did the day before yesterday. They are so beautiful that I have several images in my head. I either want to blow bubbles from/in/on these places or take photos of people blowing bubbles from/in/on these places:
- A huge, open, net-less, grill-less window (our windows have nets in them)
- Top of a mountain
- Green grass under a big tree with flowers

My parents are cleaning out the garage. It is a double garage that is supposed to hold two cars, instead, currently, it holds one car and a whole lot of junk and/or useful things. My mum decided that it should serve its proper purpose. I cut my hand in the process, on a cupboard shelf. I seem to have so many cuts on my hand lately that I can easily be mistaken for an emo child. I only realise that they are there when I am squeezing lemons. I have either turned into a proper bengali woman or I have just become clumsier than usual.

My room smells really nice nowadays, because I have three gandharajes in a tiny cup from New York and a candle that smells like cherry blossom from Osaka. I took some photos of them yesterday, but I haven't transferred them yet. So, enjoy this one that I took from my mum's room a few days ago. If you don't know what a gandharaj flower is, google it. Its supposed to be white, but this flower must have been a few days too old!

If you have survived until now, I have a tiny bit of homework for you. I want to know why you read my blog. I figured that I actually have not achieved much out of blogging here for nearly five and a half years other than create some good stalking material. It helps me unravel, yes, it helps me articulate my thoughts, yes, sometimes, it helps me get a point across that I would not have gotten across in any other way (in my opinion). But those are reasons why I write here; I want to know why you read me. You can leave anonymous comments if you want your identity to be hidden, or you do not know how else to leave comments. Here are some suggestions:
a) Its entertaining.
b) It gives you great information to stalk me. (lol. Actually, I have been very careful to not give out enough information about me to trace me. Fail.)
c) It helps you understand me. 
d) It helps you understand yourself.
e) It helps you understand the world.
f) It teaches you to appreciate your life because mine is so pathetic and/or amazing.
g) It shows you a different point of view to things.
h) You like my bad poetry/songs.
i) You like my photos.
j) Its educational.
k) Anything else.
You can write an essay if you want; you can write two words if it suits you. But PLEASE leave a comment. 

P.S: I know my titles are horrible. 

P.P.S: I was going to write a little bit more, about Taylor Swift, my lack of reading and my excessive consumption of movies, but I figured this post is too long and no one would probably get to the end to actually do the homework.


  1. Haha i read your blog because i want to know what's happening in your life and also to learn to appreciate things, because you have a tendency (and a very admirable one for that) to appreciate even the small things in life. So there! :D Your blogging is beneficial to both of us! :P

  2. 1.

    Don't worry about the dreams, my dreams are 'much more' BIGGER than yours! As a boy from a third world country, I still don't know how to fulfill them! But still, those dreams always keep me running ... :)


    I read a lot of blogs, some blogs attract me for their good content some doesn't. May be your blog is in that 'attractive' category. Another reason is I always like to read blogs of Bangladeshis (I hope you are a Bangladeshi) and Bangalis (in case you are from India). That's what I could think about reading your blogs. :)

  3. 1. It's a way for me to keep track of you and make sure you're not delving into too much angst. =)
    2. It's because I love reading your poetry.
    3. I can find out more about you which you decide not to tell me and so I come here to find out about your life.
    4. It's nice to see some of my own thoughts be mirrored by someone else without consceince effort.
    5. It's entertaning.
    6. Your words have an eloquent grace to them that are unknown to you.
    7. It allowed me to realate.
    8. I like your photos.
    9. The life experineces of another person is always valuable.