Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Pages of my mind - 2


Since I woke up at 5.15 pm, Guy Sebestian’s ‘Like That’ has been hammering inside my head. The worst part is, I only know one line – I’m the only one that can love you like that. So this line has been driving me crazy, until a few moments ago. Now Guy is replaced by Cat – Hard Headed Woman. He says ‘I’m looking for a hard headed woman’, then echoes ‘headed woman, headed woman’. Also, I circled the rash in my hand and went to show my sister. She drew an arrow and wrote, ‘Rational’.


I don’t think I went very well in mathmatics extension 1.

But I think I went worse in extension 2. I’m not sure how I should feel right now. Regret? Depressed? Relieved? I’m not exactly sure how I feel either. I think all of those have amalgamated into a blob of gooey darkness.

English was OK.

Chemistry is in 4 days and economics in 6. I loathe economics. But I have to get myself to sit down and convince myself that after these 6 days, if I want to, I will not have to hear another economic term ever again.

Ironically, ‘Lucky’ is playing itself over and over in my head.

The computer just asked me: Are you sure you want to send ‘tmrw’ in the recycling bin?


Well, HSC is finally over! Its 12.20 am, 6th November, 2009 – The day which my calendar is marked as ‘ITS OVER!’ I thought this day would not exist in my memory because it would be spent sleeping. Well, its 20 minutes after midnight and I do not feel a speck of sleep sitting on my eyes. I’m enjoying this freedom – I am finally free of quite a few social constraints. No, I am not partying until 2 am, drunk and disorderly, then, sleep on God-knows-what/who. But I still am enjoying this concept called life, which I got back exactly 12 hours ago. I was listening to Anjan, surrounded by text books and papers that desperately needs a new home. Now, I’m listening to ‘bubbly’. This song brings back memories, just like every other song in my playlist. The funny thing with songs are that they can make you homesick for a certain emotion, regardless of the situation that emotion has been felt in. For example, in year 7, I remember doing my assignments while listening to Orthohin. Now every time I listen to them, I feel stressed and excited at the same time, because that’s exactly what I felt those times. I think my brain stopped functioning now, which is a good sign, because it means I’m sleepy.

I know I am childish and immature. Is that a reason to be worried? Well, I’m only 18, I am not doing anything wrong and I happen to love and enjoy my life a little differently. I like enjoying little things, like stopping to look at an old red car in the rain, or curling up in my blanket and daydreaming. I also like writing (mostly about myself), reading (mostly about other people’s personal thoughts), taking photos and sharing all of these with unknown people. Is there anything wrong with that?

Oh well. Who cares. Its my life. When I waste it, its my right to decide the way I want to waste it.

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