What the world taught me

So, this morning, I was on the train and I got a text message. I immediately called up a friend that I was supposed to meet in half an hour and said something along the lines of: 'Assalamu Alaikum! Where are you?... It got cancelled. I don't know, I had nothing to do with it, but I don't know why they would plan it for so long and then cancel it like that.' Maybe I was imagining it, but I think I felt a few heads turn towards me.

I was talking about rock climbing.

I am a Muslim who has lived in Australia for nine years and four months (minus two days) of her life of twenty years and a month (minus five days). All of my good to best friends are from Sydney, the family that matters to me are in Sydney. The biggest events of life occurred within these past nine years. The biggest identity crisis I have had in my life was when I was a teenager. My problems in a day usually include: should I order a coffee or not? If yes, cappuccino or mocha? Small or large? Should I turn up to my lecture? Should I stay up on Facebook or be a good girl and go to sleep early?

I have a friend who has recently converted to Islam. If I remember correctly, she converted about two years ago and put on the hijab about a year ago. She was, what pop culture would call, 'a true-blue Aussie'. (Yes, she has blue eyes. :P) Her family has probably lived in Australia ever since they came here as convicts from England or Ireland. She used to love her beer, the beach, BBQs and fit every other possible Australian stereotype that you could think of. After she became a Muslim, she gave up alcohol. She married another person who is also a convert, and an ex-true-blue Aussie (if you can ever be an ex-true-blue). They love each other, and are soon having a baby together.

She put on the niqab a few weeks ago. And guess what she faced? At shopping centres, people have told her to 'go back home'. She laughed when she said that to me, saying, 'where is home?' The people she grew up with suddenly changed their attitude towards her. Her own parents cannot stand 'bloody Moslems'.

What is happening to our world? Yes, many people have mentioned it before, but, I don't think I ever truly experienced this feeling before. What I believe in, no matter how peaceful it is, is increasingly becoming a test for me, because other people do not believe that is it in fact peaceful. Everyone else is deciding how I should feel.

There is no reason for the 'us vs you' attitude that I am facing lately, except for the fact that I wear a hijab. Every time I say something, there is no real reason for me to think, 'am I making everyone else feel uncomfortable?' There is no reason to feel apologetic for what I believe in. Therefore, I decided, from now on, I shall try to live my life a little more conscientiously. I will try to focus on the things that matter, people that matter, issues that matter.

After I made that decision, I actually felt a change within myself. When I stood up for prayer, every word that I said made sense to me. I was praying to the Being who has infinite power, infinite mercy, infinite justice. The Being who created everything, knows what is in the heart of every single person, the Being who I have to return to one day. Most people cannot comprehend this, because they think of God as someone like themselves. That's why He is God. By definition, He is above all. By definition, He is the most superior. By definition, He is the only One who has power over anything and everything.

The whole situation and the controversies that are arising right now has just made my faith stronger. How? No one clearly knows what really happened. The US government spokesman is revoking and changed his words a few times already. Basically, no one knows the 'truth'. YET, there is a truth. In that night, in those hours, 'something' happened. This reminded me that 'truth' will always be 'truth', no matter who says what and who believes what.

P.S: Assalamu Alaikum means 'Peace be upon you'. Allahu Akbar means God (refer to the 'by definition' rantage above) is Great.

P.P.S: If you hear alarms going off in your head, if you are finding yourself thinking, 'has this girl gone crazy?', you need to turn those off. And think to yourself, how much the people in authority is affecting your way of thinking. If you should learn anything from what I said today, it should be: Learn to think using your own brain.