Every turn a surprise

I used to be a person with a huge personal space. I was a bit of a keyboard warrior, a bit of a keyboard counsellor and a bit a of an escapist (I still am a bit of an escapist I think :/...). But sharing a space with another person, almost constantly, almost everyday reduces that need for such a big personal space. I still like having a coffee by myself every now and then, but I don't feel as much of a need for it as I did before. I don't write as much, instead, we talk. We have a shared to-do list on a whiteboard at the back of our door. I tell him about my ridiculous nightmares and he listens. He tells me about his work and I get excited for him (even though he says its boring, but I can see he loves it). We daydream together. He accidentally says terribly romantic things, like, 'You have beautiful eyes', or, 'I am lucky to have you as my wife'. I accidentally used his toothbrush a few times, and didn't feel grossed out. His favourite song is 'a whole new world' from Aladdin. He sings it for me sometimes, and I feel like he is right. He is showing me the world. I don't think I completely understand him yet and I don't think he completely understands me yet but that's the fun part of planning to be together for the rest of your lives - you understand each other a little more everyday.

Baba

I think I have began to appreciate Baba more after getting married. I have always admired, respected and loved him; when I was little, I used to think he was the best person in the entire world - the one with the cleanest heart. He doesn't complain, lives with hope and enjoys both the company of others and his own. I still love watching his face as he explains things from the Quran. When he reads, he bobs his head involuntarily. We grew up hearing wives complain about how their husbands pick on their cooking, but never saw one such example at home. We grew up hearing that our friends are afraid of their dad's, but could never relate to it. Whenever something heavy needed to be lifted, or a cockroach needed to be killed, Baba was there. He showed us who real men are - strong, brave, wise and comforting. 

Another friend of Mr H got married yesterday. Saw lots of old friends at that wedding and met a few new people too. Mr H and my crowd had always been different, hence I was met with a lot of new culture since I got married. This friend comes from a crowd that's a little different to both of ours, hence, we were both met with a new wave of cultural differences. Interestingly, all of us are of Muslims with Bengali-Australian background. Differences automatically leads to forming (mostly negative?) judgement, which is terrible. There should be one measuring stick, right and wrong by God's definition. If something is wrong according to it, we should stay away from it in any form possible, and if it is right, we should accept it, even if it doesn't seem familiar to us.

I found this amazing acapella artist - she has the most beautiful voice, and does the backing track so simply but beautifully! I think I will listen to her for the next few days at least. My room had been terribly messy for the last few days, it is a little cleaner now, but the floor needs to be vaccumed. I have a to-do list that consists of about 6-7 things that seem annoying at the moment, but I am sure I would feel excellent after I do them. Writing here wasn't a part of it. -.-

Feeling excited :)

I have been thinking about homeschooling during the primary years. The idea of raising children with ideas that aren't filtered through the secular schooling system, allowing them to be independent about the things that they want to learn about instead of streamlining their interests, teaching them bangla and arabic at the same time, as well as quran memorisation, as well as letting them part-take in any sports they want, and other community projects - seems like a very lucrative idea. Once they are a bit more strong in their deen inshaallah, they can go to a public high school with a relatively good environment. The high schools that I went to were pretty good, alhamdulillah. What would be even more awesome is if they could somehow do full time hifdh for 2-3 days a week, and I could work as a counsellor at some school.

If everything goes my way, in the next five years, I can finish studying - including finishing my psych degree, counselling degree and teaching degree. And I can finish learning arabic and a bit of Quran.

Mr H and some of his friends are in on the plan of homeschooling. They want to build a community like the ones NAK suggests and are working towards it. I'm excited to see what comes about in the next ten years!

Life isn't perfect, but we have to push through!

Hi :)

I haven't written in here for so long! July 12th - that's more than a month ago. Time flew pretty quick for a while. I'm not doing much these days - no work, no uni - so time is supposed to fly slower. I am trying to get some other things done though - things I haven't had time for before and probably will not have much time for from next semester. However, I have spent my spare time watching Offspring, instead of doing those things, and eating things like cookies and 2-min noodles. Not the most productive way to spend what is possibly the free-est time of my life. Also, I have been writing a song, to which Sum said, 'it doesn't have your usual flair'. I was thinking, 'what flair?!', but I just casually typed, 'oh really?'. It makes me happy to think that Sum thinks I usually have a 'flair' in writing.

I like spending time at my parents' now. I think I appreciate them more now that I don't live with them, but that's what everyone else said would happen, right? Except, you just don't realise it actually happens until you go through it yourself. You don't realise what a lot of things are actually like, unless you experience it yourself. One thing that is terribly annoying is the way grown men and women yield to social pressure. I kind of give excuses for myself, saying, I am only twenty-three, I am only recently married, I am only new etcetra. But I am not sure whether they started off by giving the exact same excuses and just never stopped.

I sometimes feel like I cannot remember what I used to think and feel four months ago. The whole point of writing is that I can come back later and read them and re-feel and re-think those feelings and thoughts. I really need to sit down and do that someday soon.

Mr H got me a new phone for Eid, but I haven't started using it yet due to a huge funny mess surrounding it. The mess is being sorted now, I think. I need to start using it soon. Mr H's birthday is coming up. I am writing him a song and giving him a box full of gifts inshaallah. I got a card for him that says 'You are my cup of tea'. I hope he likes it.

I don't particularly like gold jewellery. Maybe I should try wearing some of my old stuff every now and then. EF was so proud that I am becoming feminine now! :P

I think Ma just came home from work.

Annoying things

- Racism
- Nationalism
- Oblivion
- Psychopathy
- Mainstream media
- Hypocrisy

Ramadan :)

It's Ramadan again!

There are so many reasons to love Ramadan:
- An opportunity to have ALL of your sins forgiven.
- An opportunity for dua to be accepted - any dua!
- An opportunity to gain an a load of rewards.

Basically, it's an opportunity to start over. And if you think something is impossible, know that for Allah, nothing is impossible. And everything in life is a test (even the ones that might seem like a blessing). One way to keep cool while you are hungry, thirsty and things aren't going as planned - is to be grateful for the blessings that Allah has given you. Mentally list them, and thank Allah for every single one.

There are times when it seems like everyone is out to piss you off, like that is their sole purpose. Just, imagine Jannah, the place you will get if you hold on, just a little more.

Pretend cafe

There's something therapeutic about writing a philosophy essay in the middle of the night, while listening to songs that you like, while sitting in the middle of a room filled with only your mess, while contemplating whether you should go get another cup of tea. It feels like you have endless time on your hands, no expectations or obligations to attend to. It feels like sitting in a cafe and writing.

There are several things about my mother that I am not completely able to appreciate. But with new experiences, I am able to appreciate a few of those things. My mother is very 'herself'. She always wore whatever she wanted, not caring about whether it was 'in' or not. She leads a life where she makes sure every single day is productive. And one thing she told me once, that I keep forgetting, but shouldn't, is: No matter what happens, I should not hesitate or feel too ashamed to come back to Allah and get back on my feet.

There are several levels of 'losing' yourself. Sometimes it doesn't matter if you've lost yourself in some ways. It's good for you, even. But, if you lose all of yourself, you're in trouble.

I should probably go get that cup of tea and come back and write. 

Humans of New York

“My parents were always fighting. They weren’t very supportive. I used to be bitter about it. I was caught up on how my life could have been different if I had better parents. How things would have been different if x, y, and z had happened. But then you get older and you realize maybe they didn’t have the capacity to give you what you needed. They couldn’t understand you, just like you couldn’t understand them. You realize they were dealing with their own disappointments. And you even start to think, ‘Maybe I could have been a better son.’”

"We're eye doctors."
"What's something about the eye that most people don't realize?"
"The eye doesn't see. The brain sees. The eye just transmits. So what we see isn't only determined by what comes through the eyes. What we see is affected by our memories, our feelings, and by what we've seen before."

"Through it all, we have all become much more compassionate souls. The depression taught me a valuable lesson: Who knows what battle people are facing everyday that is unseen? Embrace every present moment! You never know when your perfect life will drastically and instantly change. We had a perfect life until we didn’t. (A 30-second phone call with the confirmed cancer diagnosis came soon after we built and moved into our "dream home".)"

"I've got a wife and three kids, and a job I'm trying to hold on to. It's a lot of work and it's a lot to worry about, so it's easy to fall into a routine where all I'm doing is worrying about the next moment. In the midst of all this, sometimes I have to force myself to step back and appreciate the wonderful things that have already happened: one of my children is a budding artist, the other is beautifully kind, and the other is full of energy and potential. And they're all happy. And they're all healthy."

"I tend to be cynical about a lot of things, but Maya Angelou is somebody that no matter how much I pick her apart, she still has integrity. She was a victim of incest and rape, and she worked as a stripper. And now she’s a literary icon and Nobel Laureate. It goes to show that life is cumulative, and you can’t devalue any type of experience."

"People confuse the source of their happiness. They become temporarily happy when they get a new car, or a new house, or a new marriage. And they think that they are suddenly happy because of this new thing in their life. In reality, they are happy because for a brief moment, they are without desire. But then soon another desire comes along. And the search continues."

Judgementalness

If you are always around similar kinds of people, people who share similar ideas about the world - there's a huge chance that your world would become tiny. And then when you meet people that are very different, you start to think they are 'not of us' and that's when things become problematic. If we improve our communication and at least attempt to speak the same language, no one would be 'not of us'.

Time management

The busier life gets, the more I am understanding the importance of managing time well. I can't say that I have been putting every moment to use, hence, I know that I am not overcommitted at the moment, I am just the same old disorganised person that I always have been. Being disorganised is generally fine when you are a single university student - your life consists of uni work, friends, a bit of family, social work and maybe a part time job to pay for the minimal expenses and coffees. You can stay up till 2 AM watching TV shows, then get a coffee in the morning and finish off that assignment that's due at midnight. But this does not work when the main focus in your life is no longer you.

Possible steps of better time management:
- Keep your calendar updated with every commitment.
- Dua
- Make sure the minimum faraids are going okay, otherwise, everything else you do will be futile.
- To do list every morning

Introducing Mr H

Marriage is an interesting experience. If you are lucky and blessed, you marry your best friend, or you find a new best friend in your spouse. There are absolutely no secrets or barrier, but at the same time, you remember that the person you are married to is an individual, hence, your thought processes are not always going to be at sync. So, the way you may perceive or process something might be entirely different to the way your spouse does it. On top of that, the way you share your space with this person is very different to anyone else. Hence, it is very easy for your spouse to pick up on your weaknesses. Which means its very easy to be your truest self, the most vulnerable you have ever been. Which also means that if you have married the right person, you will eventually learn to help each other work through weaknesses and bring out the best in each other.

I feel quite lucky and blessed about Mr H. (He does not watch this space though, so I can praise him as much as I want without giving him a huge head. :P)

Moments

I have looked forward to this moment for a very long time. And now that it's finally here, my brain and my insides seem to have turned into one huge ball of mush - unable to separate one feeling from another. There are moments where I feel like rewinding all of it and returning to the life I lived before, but, it's silly to not appreciate blessings when they're here already. When you are out in the sun, don't think about the clouds that are forecasted for tomorrow. Soak up the sun with your eyes closed and be grateful that He allowed you to experience that moment.

Worrying puts us in a cage, and the more we worry, the smaller the cage gets, until we suffocate. The concept of Tawakkulullah - trust in Allah - is something that never ceases to amaze me. We might find it hard to trust others entirely, and rightly so - letting another person clench your heart in their fist gives them the power to crush it, maybe involuntarily. But letting your heart be filled with the trust of Allah can allow you to let others hold your heart, without letting them clench it tight.

Sometimes, the worry stems from regret - regret of our own past actions. But it's important to remember that once something has been repented for, it's as if that never happened.

Live in the moment. In this moment. 

5 before 5

The Prophet (saw) advised to: “Take benefit of five before five: Your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before you are preoccupied, and your life before your death”(Narrated by Ibn Abbas and reported by Al Hakim)

Reminder

Currently, I am utterly in love with (or possibly just obsessed with) this song called Riptide. I found a great acapella and I cannot stop listening to it. It's a clean sound, with a soothing voice which does not go out of tune at all and lovely words. The song is open to interpretation, but the way I see it, it's about a boy who had low self esteem and was filled with fears, but falls head over heels in love with a girl and loses his fears. Then, the girl begins to lose herself and he knows things are going down in a hateful direction, but there's nothing he can do.

I heard somewhere, that when a person commits a sin, at that moment, that person stops being a believer. Because you cannot do something wrong while knowing that you are being watched and you will have to answer for it, while you do not have an answer. The beautiful thing is, Allah is Al-Ghafoor, Al-Afu', Ar;-Rahman, Al-Lateef, Ash-Shakoor, Al-Wadud and so much more. He forgives, loves, rewards and works in the most subtle ways.

Sometimes, all we want to do is forget that we have to die and keep doing whatever it is we are doing, because its just easier that way. It's easier to think about the bills we have to pay, or the people we have to please, or the grades we need to get and stay so busy while trying to keep things afloat that its easier to forget that we ever have to die. But one day, we will wake up without waking up and neither our money nor those people will wake up with us.

But Allah is As-Samad.

Perfection

sometimes things are so perfect that i feel like i am dreaming and that i will wake up any moment and realise i still lack direction and sometimes i feel like i am living inside a bubble that might burst at any moment but then you remind me that this is all real and you are real and you are the perfect balance i was missing all this time. 

Blessed

Note to self: when blessings come, be thankful for them. Remember that everything comes from the Allah and be grateful to Him.

One of the names of Allah is Ash-Shakoor - I never thought about this name too much until recently. I remember being amazed by the meaning of it. It is similar to taking very little care of a plant, but the plant giving you a lot of fruits. You put in a tiny amount of effort and you are rewarded with plenty. The fact that Allah is Ash-Shakoor means that He rewards the little that you do with plenty. I am feeling this completely in my life right now. My life, subhanallah, could not be any more perfect at the moment. I have direction, purpose, resources and confidence. Allah has surrounded me with so much support at the moment that I must, must cherish it. There were moments when I had none of those, and hence, no happiness. Alhamdulillah, I truly feel blessed. And it gives me even more conviction that Allah is indeed Ash-Shakoor.

Ways to be grateful to Allah:
- Saying Alhamdulillah (absolutely all praises and thanks belongs to Allah)
- Talking about the blessings
- Using the blessings that you're given for good purposes

“If you are grateful, I will surely give you more and more.” (Ibrahim 14:7).

Making decisions

An effective way to know what decision you should take is to ask yourself, what would I want my daughter to do? If you don't think you can bear it if your daughter takes a particular decision, don't take it yourself. It is often easier to love others more than you love yourself. It is often easier to hurt yourself more in the long term than wishing to protect someone you love. And the people you would love the most would be your children. Everyone else seems like individuals, but a person's own child probably always would seem to be a part of her. And you'd want the absolute best for your own child, even if you do not think of it for yourself.

This realisation made me realise how much my mother loves me. And also, that my daughter will probably never love me the way I would love her. But such is life.

:)

My life kind of changed quite dramatically and quickly over the past few weeks. In fact, ironically, it began in the week that I posted "So yeah. Back to who I was before. Balance." I can no longer remember what I meant by "who I was". But then, we are always changing, and it is not necessarily a bad thing. There isn't a need to go back to a particular stage, rather, we need to move forward and be better. Sometimes, we can't control the environment that we are put in, and it may seem that we are not being better while we move. But, it is up to us to make the best of every situation.

I remember thinking that it is much easier to live when you don't have anyone to weigh you down. Which is true, if the people that you are with weigh you down. But, if the people that you are with bring out the best in you, then you probably should stick to them like glue. 

Also, I am quitting gym! My year long membership finally ends at the end of this month and I shall no longer pay a shocking amount and succumb to the vanity that this society brings (lol, no that is not the reason why I'm quitting obviously). But surprisingly, I reached the goals that I set out for gym. Although, I did eat a whole lot of brownies today... yet to realise what the full impact will be. 

I am doing Philosophy of Religion as one of my electives this semester. I don't think I can handle a whole lot of philosophy, but one subject to end my degree seems to be the perfect amount. We talked about Ansalm and Descartes - and their understanding of God's existence and views of the ontological argument. My mouth was probably gaping the entire time. I absolutely loved it and possibly had the best time I have had in this entire week (and I had quite a few other good moments this week!). 

There is always so much to do and so little time. But when you are happy, none of it matters. 

Life is bittersweet

I have been hearing of quite a few deaths lately. People from my parents generation passing away, a twenty-four year old just randomly not waking up in the morning - things like that. Apart from the general horrific situation of the world, these things remind you that life isn't all fun and play. I may very well not wake up tomorrow morning. And then there are other different kinds of sadnesses around me - loneliness, insecurity, frustration, fear - things that exist in your head, but are very real. Some people that I love are experiencing at least one of these at the moment.

But amongst death and sadnesses, I have been happy. I have been surrounded by lovely people who are making me feel very grateful to have them in my life. I can feel the blessings in my life, which is often hard to feel, hence, is a blessing in itself. I still have annoying chores to do here and there, for example, a task that I have procrastinated from for the past three months in currently sitting in another window. But, the little annoying tasks seem manageable when the big things in life are in place.

Sometimes it feels like we have mastered a particular skill or a topic, because we are around the same group of people with similar mindsets and skill levels. And then we are thrown into a mix where we realise that we know zilch in reality. Instead of feeling disoriented with life, it's important to embrace the challenge.

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows

I am currently sipping on a cup of green tea. It's not as bad as it tasted the last time I had it - I am trying to remind myself of its numerous benefits with every sip. Adding lots of lemon and a spoonful of honey helped too. I am trying to get myself in healthier habits... not sure how long it'll last.

Lots of things are happening lately so I am trying to take it one day at a time. I have been feeling the need of clarifying and revising my ideas regarding faith and methodologies of practising it. Our life is too short to do things without knowing why you're doing them. It is also too short to live with your head under sand. I have also been feeling a lot less stressed lately. Paraphrasing one of the newest people in my life: Things are only as stressful as you make them.

Something wonderful happened yesterday - SB gave me a surprise gift. I have been making dua for something for the past few months, and with that gift, the problem has been solved. He is such an amazingly generous person mashaallah! I think I was too happy to properly be able to express how happy I was, but A said he would know anyway.

Dua is amazing. You directly ask the One who is in control of every single thing, the One who is also the Most Loving and Answerer of Prayers. It's not possible for anyone to care about you more than the amount and quality of care He has for you. It's not possible for anyone to love you more than the amount and quality of love He has for you. He also knows what is absolutely best for you. Recently, I have realised how great reliable people are (I'm not one of them yet, but inshaallah I'll get there one day!). You can trust them very easily and know that you wouldn't be disappointed. But at the same time, humans are fallible, and they can only meet a certain amount of expectations placed upon them. Allah is the most reliable, perfectly reliable.

7/02

I was skimming through some of my most recent posts and I came across one that listed reasons for my sadness at that time. Alhamdulillah, it made me smile to notice that I have regained career directions and I have begun to come across people who have hope for the world. Exactly opposite of the things that were making me sad. Maybe that's why I feel so happy lately. I am still trying to balance out my life, but I think it will be a constant struggle. My latest technique is to take these steps:
- List the aspects of my life that needs attention.
- Allocate time (if it's something that must be done regularly) or tasks (if applicable) for each.
- Do them. :P

I heard an excellent lecture by Harry Fear today. If you don't know him already - he is a British journalist that lives in Gaza. He doesn't identify himself with any religion, but he mentioned that if he was religious, he would be Muslim, because of the way that Islam deals with injustices. One important thing he mentioned is that about five years ago, he had no idea about Gaza, possibly not even where it's located. The fact that it is never too late to start finding out and working to remove an injustice. He talked about 3 aspects: activism, fighting against injustice with the means that you have and feeling the pain of others, and the fact that all of these aspects are rooted in core, specific principles of Islam. Listen to it if you want to have half an hour of awesome streaming into your brain. He would make an excellent Muslim. :)

My email never seems to be completely cleared out. However, I do believe I am getting organised lately. The fact that I waste a lot of time doing useless things is hitting me. I need to change my perception of relaxation and fun and suit these to be defined according to whatever situation I am in. Otherwise, you need to spend extra time on those, and there isn't just enough time for commitments alone, let alone extra time.

One of the signs of the Day of Judgement is that time passes quickly. I can feel it so well.

Note to Self

• If it takes less than five minutes, do it right now. No point in delaying things for five days at the expense of five minutes.
• Stop talking when there is nothing to talk about.
• Life is too short for anxiety.

Mushiness

I felt terribly happy the entire day yesterday - It was one of those days when I felt like the world is all rainbows and lollipops and the butterflies in my stomach would fly forever. I read a status this morning by Navaid Aziz in the morning:

"Every moment of happiness in this life is just a mere glimpse of potential happiness in paradise.

The next time you have happy moment do two things:
1- Say Al hamdulillah, and that way you have thanked Allah for the blessing of happiness in this life and that amazing moment you just had. 

2- Ask Allah to grant you a moment better than it in paradise. Anything we may have felt in this life is just a mere fraction of the happiness and joy we may feel in the hereafter.
That my friends is how you preserve a moment of happiness forever!
May Allah make us of the inhabitants of the highest of paradise. Ameen."

It's so much easier to put the world in perspective when you remember how temporary and illusive this world is, and how permanent and real the hereafter will be. That does not mean that we cannot feel what we feel, it just means that we need to keep ourselves from getting carried away from the end goal. There is room for boundaries to be crossed at any moment - regardless of whether you are happy or not. In sadness, the boundary may be crossed in rebellion to the situation. In happiness, it's easy to cross it out of a "what's the harm?" type of attitude.

Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim said, “There are three types of patience: Firstly, practicing patience to fulfill the obligations and to do righteous. Secondly, abstaining from evil and prohibited acts. And thirdly, practicing patience during times of hardship without complaints.”

When you are happy, the first two types of patience get tested. 

My second summer school subject is nearly finished. There was a bit of a hiccup on my part, but it should be fixed soon. My third summer school subject is something I am desperately hoping I pass - I picked 'everyday physics' on a whim. I thought it might be fun, which it is, but I fun does not necessarily equate to excellence.

School begins next week, which means scripture begins, which means I need to prepare the much promised folder I have been promising my kids since Ramadan. Beginning of school also means that my flow of cash will begin again inshaallah. YAY.

Sum tells me I am being very mushy lately, which is probably true. I am really beginning to appreciate the people around me and their love. I love the way my friends and I look out for each other, making sure our hearts aren't broken by the world, that our eyes are kept on the prize. I love the way my family members love each other, and you can see it in their eyes and actions. 

sheep

Everything in this world is an illusion. Attachment to any of it more than what is Real is always dangerous, no matter how halal it is. Sometimes, we want an attachment to be okay and we fool ourselves into thinking that the difference between being unattached and attached is very little. But the difference is never too little. Everything must be taken back to the one attachment we need to truly have, the only one that will give us constant peace.

I realise I am sounding very YM-ish lately, so I decided to stop sounding YM-ish and return to my resting state of awesomeness. As off... now.

I have sooo many things to do but every time i sit down to do them my mind wonders to a hundred other places entirely unrelated to the things i have to do so i begin thinking that i should get a tea and sit down and start doing things but then i feel lazier than i originally felt my most recent password for my uni account comes from give me a sign because i was listening to it while i set it however ironically i heard the lyrics wrong so the password actually does not come from the lyrics but i don't feel like changing it because every password has a memory associated with it i have horrible self regulation its something i definitely need to fix up as soon as possible i'm super sleepy.

Things that are happening

I went out with a bunch of friends last week - to Wattamolla beach. It was one of those days that I was able to relax and enjoy the beauty, as well as scream, splash, eat and have one of the best times of my life. The people that I went with - I can imagine having most of them in my life for a very long time. I came back home late, with aching muscles, a badly sunburnt face, a cold and an almost empty wallet. But it was still one of the best days of my life.

The following day, I went to an overnight program for little girls, which, should have been fun, but turned out to be more annoying than anything else. Our target audience was seven to fourteen year old girls, but some of the mothers sat very close and talked away. This didn't seem to bother anyone else, but all I kept thinking was that the point is being lost. Anyway, so, I went home, and came back early the next day with Z. Spent the entire day feeling disoriented, and later realised I have come down with the flu. The problem was - Z is under my care now because her mother has some other immediate commitments she needs to tend to. So, as I lay down with a blocked nose, a headache and the occasional cough, all I could think of was that Z wasn't being taken care of by me. And then I started to think how mothers are not allowed to be sick, and even if they do fall sick, they aren't allowed to stop the world and lie in bed. It added to the list of things that mothers do on a daily basis that we so often do not appreciate. 

TA and I have been talking about "wot iz love". I told that girl to start a blog, but she wouldn't, so I shall just praise her in mine and hope she never reads this. She has an incredible mind, an appreciative heart and an honest soul. She is one of those people that would make you smile just by her presence, without any pretence. We share similar tastes in movies and books, and possibly tea (we shall find out about that last one soon!). 

I am going to a friend's nikkah tomorrow inshaallah! The couple finished their first year of university this year. I love the fact that they are keeping it nice and simple at this stage. They kind of fulfil everything that I talk about in terms of marriage: a) both are pretty young; b) they are getting married at the mosque, with nothing fancy; c) both are pure hearted people who try their best to as much good as they can, as far as I see; d) they come from different cultures. They are one of the many examples I see around me of how ideas change people. People like them inspire me to keep working on solidifying my ideas and inspire others to change theirs. 

I don't think I will get much sleep over the next few days. There's 2 hours till fajr. I originally stayed up because I thought something was due at the end of this week, when in fact, it's due at the end of next. So when I realised it wasn't, I started writing here. Now I'm scared to sleep, because if I sleep, I would want to sleep more. But if I don't sleep, I might die from lack of sleep.